Ronnie's Ramblings

I first met him 23 years ago after I watched his bluish head pop out of his mom after the doctor made an incision from one side of her stomach to the other. When I hear people tell how cute baby’s are, I am assuming they have never seen a fresh newborn. I will concede they are precious, but cute, no. I can’t remember a lot of the details after that until his first bowel movement. It was my misfortune that he was in the room with my wife at the time and not in the nursery. I have yet to understand how so much gooey nasty stuff can come from something so small and innocent. His diaper was not only full, but it was overflowing. For some sinister reason, the hospital only provided dry wipes which were not going to do the job of cleaning this little feller up. I kept…

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Posted by on February 10, 2016 in Uncategorized


Honey Bee’s

So, I thought I needed to save some honey bees from being killed out. It would be my second attempt as my first attempt failed. The first attempt was on an apartment job in 2013 where I was doing some repairs on the second story soffit off my scaffolding. I had borrowed a friends hat and veil and was going to put the bees in a hive box after I got them out of the soffitt. I climbed the scaffold and was getting ready to tear out the rotten boards when the bees decided they did not like me messing around up there. I believe I set some kind of record for a 220 lb. man descending scaffolding. One moment I was on top of the scaffold and the next I was standing on the ground looking at a young lady walking 3 dogs who had a “I can’t believe what I just saw” look on her face. I just said “betcha’ didn’t think a gray haired fat man could move that fast”. She nodded in agreement, still startled to have had me appear out of nowhere and said something to the effect of “uh uh”. Unfortunantly the bees were in the top of a cement stucco support column that would have been very expensive and somewhat dangerous to cut out and repair and the apartment owner chose to have them exterminated.
Fast forward to July 2015. A friend called and said he thought there were honey bees in a wall in his mom’s barn and wanted me to look at them. Sure enough they were honey bees. He didn’t want to kill them, but they had to go. We tried to find a beekeeper in the area to get them with no luck. I decided to build a box to put them in and contacted another friend who has some experience with honey bees. I brought the tools to remove the boards to get to the hive and some more stuff he instructed me to bring, he brought a couple hats with veils and his smoker. He showed me how to tape up around my sleeves and gloves and pants legs to keep the bees out. (Evidently it is not a good thing for a bunch of bees to get between you and your clothing.) After we removed some boards and exposed the hive, he gave me a little tutorial as he “smoked” the bees and then proceeded to cut the comb loose from the barn wall putting the honey in one container (to be fed back to the bees later) and stacked the “other” parts of the hive in the hive box I had made, separating them with sticks I had made from pine lumber to allow the bees access between the comb pieces as I did not have frames for the hive box. (which I later learned would be a big mess, but was better than letting the bee’s be poisoned.) We gently brushed the bees into a plastic container and dumped them into the hive box. I was amazed they didn’t attack us, not one sting. We finished up and went home to let them set for a couple days and give all of them a chance to enter the hive box. I would relocate them after dark in a couple of days when all the bee’s were home. I decide to stop by the next day to see how they were doing. Not good! They were all back on the barn wall, clustered where their hive once was. Evidently we did not get the queen or she chose to go back to where the hive had been (we never could identify her.) What to do as I had no “bee stuff”? I decided to go to a farm supply store called “Atwoods” and see what they had in the way of bee supplies. I bought a hat with a veil, but decided I couldn’t afford a smoker at he time. (Note: smokers ARE important, as I was about to find out.) I went back to where the bees were and had talked my wife into going with me. Just in case anything went wrong, she could at least dial 911 or get me out of their if I jumped on the hood of her vehicle. I suited up just like the day before with her helping me tape up and make sure my veil was pulled down and correct. All set. I went over to where the bees were clustered, where the day before I had gently taken hand fulls of bee’s at a time and placed them in the box. I had my brush “just like my friend the day before and I had the same plastic container. Evidently I didn’t have the touch! As I gently started sweeping the bees into the plastic container with the brush just as my friend had the day before, I noticed the bees were not acting the same. (This is when I started to realize that just maybe there was a need for a smoker after all). I got me a bunch swept in the container and found out that although they didn’t sting through the gloves I had on the day before, they could have…… because they were doing it now! I know your not supposed to kill a honey bee because it supposedly sends out some kind of pheormone scent that is a distress signal that basically tells other bees to “get em'”. But, a natural reaction to being stung is to swat the thing doing the stinging………and that was probably my worst mistake of several up the this point. I had all I could take. I dumped the bees I had in the plastic container into the hive box and proceeded to swiftly walk down the driveway until most of the bees stopped following. You could say I was making strides, high stepping, getting some younder, etc. After regaining some more nerve and composure I went back for another go around and after sweeping a few more bees into the container, I just couldn’t hang with all that was going on so I quickly dumped them in the box and put the lid on. In my mind I wanted to run screaming doing ninja antics flailing my arms and legs, but my wife was just a few feet away in her vehicle watching, so I kept my composure…..more or less and walked down the drive way again and motioned for her to follow. She made sure there weren’t any bees attached or crawling on me anywhere and I got out of my “bee stuff” and went home to nurse my wounds. The bees finally took to the hive box and are doing pretty good. I went to check on them this week as it was a warm day for Janurary and did not see any activity and I thought there should be since another hive I have were out and about. I thought they might have froze out or decided to just leave as bees are notional critters. I wasn’t suited up, but decided to look into a box I had on top of the hive where I had been feeding. Nothing. No bees feeding as usual, none stirring around. I looked in the entrance and could not see any activity. Huh? When you think a hive is empty, NEVER and I mean NEVER bang on the top with a brick!


Posted by on January 20, 2016 in Country Humor, Humor, Outdoor Humor


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Be a positive

Ronnie's Ramblings

It seems in today’s world we as people are being separated into different classes whether it be gender, race, social status, politics, etc. No matter the class, behavior should be a common. My side, your side, his side, her side, upside, downside, inside, outside, no side. No matter the side you find yourself on, hate, bitterness and grudges will diminish the quality of your life and those around you. Spewing negativity not only pushes thoses whom you may consider advesaries away, but it also pushes those who care about you away. Who want’s to be around a cranky person? Believe me, I have my moments, especially when the aches and pains are having a field day, or things go wrong on a job, but being negative and cranky never helps, never has and never will. Life is too short to live a life this way. The decision of how we…

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Posted by on January 15, 2016 in Uncategorized


Be a positive

It seems in today’s world we as people are being separated into different classes whether it be gender, race, social status, politics, etc. No matter the class, behavior should be a common. My side, your side, his side, her side, upside, downside, inside, outside, no side. No matter the side you find yourself on, hate, bitterness and grudges will diminish the quality of your life and those around you. Spewing negativity not only pushes thoses whom you may consider advesaries away, but it also pushes those who care about you away. Who want’s to be around a cranky person? Believe me, I have my moments, especially when the aches and pains are having a field day, or things go wrong on a job, but being negative and cranky never helps, never has and never will. Life is too short to live a life this way. The decision of how we act and how we react is ours and we have to live with the decisions we make, good, bad or indifferent and the kicker is that our loved ones, friends, family and our children to some extent are also affected by and have to live with the decisions and actions we take, whether good or bad. Do I have anger issues…..ha! I’m not pointing fingers. Only God knows how much I fight them and at times I do let frustration take over and let anger raise it’s ugly head, but I do believe as the Bible says that you can “be angry and sin not.” Not saying that is or has always been my case, thank God for forgiveness and grace. Mostly my anger is aimed at satan, because he is the one always stirring the pot, poking the sore spots with a stick, usually using unknowing individuals such as me and you. The Bible tells us he is “the author of confusion”. Did I mention that life is too short for negativity, anger, bitterness, strife, grudges etc, just look at the lives that have been cut short in your community or adjoining communities, I know you know someone who’s life was taken unexpected. There are always bigger fish to fry, there will always be those in more dire situations than we ourselves are at any given moment. Their are people you and I know who fight and struggle daily just to survive, just hoping for some kind of normal. I have a daughter-in-law who fights a horrible disease on a daily basis (ms) and not only has to contend with a horrible disease, but also equally horrible people. Examples: one evening she was going to her pickup in her wheel chair after a college class when someone on purpose swerved and hit a mud puddle to splash water on her. Another time as she was at the train station a young boy laughed and made fun of her because she couldn’t walk and his dad laughed with him. (They happened to be black), but it was people of all races and genders who cut in front of her, impeding her ability to exit the train until a train employee stopped them and allowed her to exit. This is just an example of how our world is becoming. I plead with you, don’t add to it, don’t be one of these people, be a positive. Examine yourself, examine your life and choose to be a positive influence in your own life and those around you. It will make a diffference. You don’t have to be fake to be positive, you do not have to let people abuse, take advantage of nor run over you to be respectful and you don’t have to be mean and negative to be truthful. Anyone can be a mean mouthy bully (and my mouth can be as big as they come as my foot gets stuck in it quite often), but it takes a man or woman to show restraint and cordial respect. I am using my daughter-in-law as an example because she is a positive and at the same time to make people aware of what handicap people deal with. Yes it frustrated her to be splashed and made fun of, but she desired prayer for those people instead of retaliation (I honestly cannot say the same for me or Randon). She has fought ms from an early age, enduring more than several people should have to in a life time, missing out on things others take for granted…..such as the simple act of walking unhindered. She has had multiple operations including both shoulders from wearing them out from pushing a wheel chair and yet remains one of the most positive people I have ever met. There is more to life than strife and drama, there is peace and contentment …….somewhere. It is up to us to seek it out grab hold to it and hang on. I believe it would do us all good to spend less time seeking out the former and more time with loved ones seeking the latter. I challenge you today to be sincerly positive, not just superficial. Be positive in your daily life, in your contact with others, in your actions, in your reactions to others and situations. It is our choice to leave a negatitive legacy of bitterness, hate, strife etc. or we can leave a legacy of being positive, of speaking and doing right, choosing to uplift instead of put down, to encourage instead discourage, to be a stepping stone instead of a stumbling block. Being positive takes work, being negative is the easy way out and is man’s natural reaction.  Note: When you are not sure what road to take, always take the high road.

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Posted by on March 30, 2015 in Everyday life


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Keep Your Spiritual Guard Up.

Reminder: Remember to keep your spiritual guard up. The minute you slack off satan will increase his attack. “The Bible tells us “he goes about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour”. (1st Peter 5:8) A lion, with it’s loud roar likes to frighten its prey into imobility through fear, satan also with his roaring (intimidation, persecutions, fear) likes to frighten us into imobility to be too scared to do God’s work, too scared to stand up for righteousness. Like a wolf sniffing out helpless prey, satan knows when we are venuerable and weak, so stay strong in the Lord, in prayer and Gods word. Don’t let any crack develop in your Christian armor where satan can get a wedge in it and start hammering and causing seperation from God. Some of the wedges satan uses will be our thoughts and our thoughts are where our actions first begin to form. (Read that last line a few times.) By guarding our thoughts, we will be more in control of our actions, our reactions to others actions and also our negative tongues. We were meant for more, it is not enough to just hold our own, we are urged to press toward Gods mark, His high calling, to progress in our Christian walk. (Philippians 3:14) Get on the offensive for God through prayer, the study of God’s word and the spreading of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. There is great power through God that very few press themselves hard enough to tap into, myself included. God Bless

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Posted by on February 26, 2015 in Devotional


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Pondering: Time

If we had an hour glass and each grain of sand represented a minute of our lives how would we live our life? What would we do different? How urgent would life become as we watched the minutes pass through knowing we couldn’t just turn it over and start again as we do when playing a game. Would our idleness go away? Would apathy cease to exist? Would priorities change? Would our thought process change? How much more would we accomplish? Would there be less what if’s and if only’s or I wish I had’s? Time waits for no one, don’t let it pass you by, make the most of it. Time is the most precious currency and commodity we have, spend and barter it wisely.

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Posted by on February 12, 2015 in Everyday life, Ponderings


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Spiritual Heart

It would be hard to say just which body part or organ is the most important, but I believe we can agree that the heart ranks right up there at the top of everyone’s list. When the heart go’s, then pretty much everything else goes. There are times we may get blockages to the heart which results in less blood flow causing everything from lethargic to physical weakness to death. It is similar with our spiritual life. When there ceases to be a spiritual flow through us we tend to get lethargic in doing Gods work and weak to temptation which can lead to a spiritual death. In the physical we need stints to open arteries or replacement of arteries called bypasses to remedy the blockages to the heart. Sometimes our spiritual arteries need unblocked as life can leave us jaded and cause our heart to gradually grow hard without us even realizing it.  By going to the source of our spiritual blood, Jesus Christ, asking God for forgiveness and lifting God up in praise, reading and studying his word, will cause our spiritual heart to soften and allow our spiritual blood to flow.

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Posted by on January 13, 2015 in Devotional


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Feral Hog Invasion, a Growing Plague

I have had a love/hate relationship with feral hogs that began back in the early 90’s. I’m not sure when feral hogs, most commonly called wild hogs were first introduced into Oklahoma, but in the late 80’s and early 90’s they really started making themselves known around the area I live in in Johnston co. and our neighboring counties. Since then, I have watched them spread across the state and throughout other states leaving the agency’s responsible for the governing of feral hogs frantically trying to come up with a plan to halt their progress and lessen their destruction of native species.

The feral hogs rapid spread is due in part to over zealous people introducing them to new areas, not realizing the destruction and havoc they would have on native habitat and farming and ranching operations.

Feral hogs come in all shapes, sizes and colors. I have trapped piglets to hogs weighing in excess of 300 lbs. and although rare, not uncommon. Some will have long snouts, big shouldered and small hips while others will have a more domestic look with the short snout and a blocky build. some will have a ridge of hair along their back with long curly hair over the rest of their body while others will be short haired. A lot depends on if they have the russian strain and how long they have been ferral. They also come in about every color imaginable from solid colors in red, black, brown, gray, white or a mixture of them. Hamp colored, pollen china etc. and the piglest are usually a varient of these colors with chimpmunk like stripes.

I started trapping wild hogs for the table fare they provided and they offered another opportunity for hunting as they are a wary, smart, cunning animal and they provide an element of danger. The only real chink in their armor is their eyesight as they smell and hear as well or better than any whitetail. When trapping them I sold a few to those providing hunts behind fenced acres to help with the expense of hog trap material, gas, corn and even a few prizes for a wild game dinner, but most I gave away to those wanting them for meat.

It was fun for a while when they were more or less a novelty and fairly new to the areas I hunted, but over the years as the population rose year after year and the destruction they were causing to native wildlife and the land, my dislike for them also grew. I still enjoy hunting them and have no qualms about eating them and will admit to having some admiration for them and their abilities to adapt and survive, but like the old saying; Too much of a good thing is not always good and they soon became too much of what I once believed was a good thing.

Wild hogs are smart creatures, if you catch one in a trap and it somehow gets out you will have a hard time catching it again, especially in the same trap. I even experiemented with some piglets that were born to a sow we had trapped and kept for a couple of months. She gave birth while in a pen and the piglets could go back and forth through the panels so one day I decided to catch one on the outside of the pen in a live trap designed for raccoon. After catching one of the piglets and then turning it loose I could not catch it again. Even after making a funnel of boards to the trap the piglet would not commit itself to going into the trap. Lesson learned. I also had a sow that kept herself between one of my traps and her pigs, bypassing the trap and bait inside. I have also been humbled by a wild hogs strength. In my early 30’s I was a 220 lb. man, strong and in good physical condition when I found out a 50 lb. hog could move an object that I couldn’t. I can also testify to their agility to climb cattle panels and riverbanks, to jump over 4 foot high obstacles or go through said obstacles. If a wild hog can gets it’s head through something you can pretty much bet the rest of it is going through too. They are strong, built like a wedge and seem to not feel pain in those hard wedge shaped heads. I have had them blow through cattle panels and they will run through the thickest briar patch or brush without so much as slowing down. They will also not hesitate to hit water, swiming with only their nose and eyes visible above the water line. As I said before, their only down fall seems to be their eyesight. Stand still next to a tree or hunker down and they will walk right upon you if the wind is right, but let them get a wiff and they are gone. I have had them wind me from a couple hundred yards away. They also have excellent hearing.

Combine their physical ability, their super senses, their sense of survival, their smarts and their ability to reproduce at only 4 months of age and 3 times in a 12 month span and its no wonder they are hard to keep under control and keep spreading over the land like a plague without an antidote. There is a saying that if a wild hog has 12 piglets that 13 will live. In reality the good thing is the average litter size is between five and eight with only about a thirty percent survival rate, but when you multiply even those low numbers by three they can be overwhelming.

The problems wild hogs cause farming and ranching are many. I have seen where they have gone down rows of newly planted peanuts eating the seeds leaving a furrow as straight as the farmer and his tractor. I have seen where they have straddled corn rows pushing the stalks down where they can get at the ears of corn. I know of one rancher who had to have a dozer level his pasture after being rooted up and having wallows so big they couldn’t use a tractor in it and I shudder to think what they could do to a hog farmer.  Wild hogs also pose other hazzards. On areas I hunt, I have watched the wild hog population rise and the turkey population fall. As the hogs were removed, the turkey population would rise. I believe they (along with several other problems) also factor into the disapperance of the bobwhite quail in our area. They can devistate a creek bank and leave a small clear pond a muddy mess. Wild hogs go through an oak grove scarfing up acorns making it look like a giant vaccume cleaner has been through there and I have watched a big boar run off a nice 10 pt. and little 4 pt. from a red oak tree. I don’t know if there are satistics on wild hog related cost to motor vehicles each year as their are deer, but I bet the cost would be pretty high as I have seen plenty that have been run over on the highways. Wild hogs also carry diseases, the two most common being Pseudo Rabies and Swine Brucellosis. They are usually also infested with hog lice and less common, fleas and ticks. And yes, wild hogs can be a hazzard to those in the woods. Granted, most times a wild hog will run from you, but their are circumstances where they can charge a person such as a sow being protective of piglets or a big boar that feels cornered or is just having a bad day.

A wild hog is a predator. It will eat most anything including grubs, grass tubers, mast, crops, carrion and any animal, bird or reptile it comes across if the opportunity presents itself. A mature wild hog has few if any enemies that are it’s equal in size, strength and temperment.

When trapping wild hogs I would at different times have some held in captivity and even raised a piglet to a boar that would weigh upwards of 400 pounds. He was solid black and pretty scary looking with tusks protuding up to 4 inches (he would usually break them off by accident on the panels if they got longer). He wasn’t mean, just a big o’l pet that liked his back scratched, but could be dangerous with his size and the size of his tusks even if he didn’t mean too. Having wild hogs in captivity allowed me to observe some of their behavior. I learned that different hogs have different personalities and each wild hog is not created equal. Some would tame down fairly quick while others never tamed down. some would seem calm, but would watch every move you made and I believe waiting on their opportunity while others would jump at you every chance they got. Wild hogs have pecking orders and will fight and a wild hog fight can be quite ferious, but once the fight is over and dominance has been declared they will pile up and be mud buddies, seemingly all ill feelings being forgotten. When a boar is fighting and his tail goes limp, he has admitted defeat and it is not always the biggest boar with the bigest tusks that is declared the winner, it is the one who is the meanest and has the most fight in them.

Not only did I observe the wild hogs behaviors, I got to see what they like to eat. A friend who helped me trap the hogs was able to get produce and such from a grocery store and we would feed this to the ones we had in captivity when possible to save corn and keep the costs down. We found that their favorite was avocados, no doubt about it. They would choose avocados over a multitude of other fruits and vegetables including watermelon, cantaloupe, apples, grapes, citris fruits etc. If given peaches they would smash the peach and eat the seed leaving the pulp behind. They also had a fondness for tofu, go figure. Given their choice of various vegatables and fruits, if I tossed the remains from ducks we had harvested the hogs would choose the ducks, ripping them apart by placing their feet on what was left of the carcass and pulling with their teeth. I discovered by accident what seemed to be a treat for them. When we didn’t have enough outdated stuff from the grocery chain I would have to feed them corn. (Wild hogs have the ability to pick up a single kernal of corn with their tongue much like a chicken does with its beak). On one occasion there were several red wasps in the corn looking for a place to hole up because it was turning cold and they couldn’t fly. When I scooped the corn up I also scooped up some of the red wasps. I tossed them into the pen with the corn and the hogs scarfed up the wasps as quick as they found them. To make sure it wasn’t a fluke and that they just didn’t eat them with the corn by accident, the next morning I scooped up several wasps without the corn and tossed them into the pen. The wild hogs went after them like they were candy. I did this on several occasions with the same results with different wild hogs.

I dont believe there is one sure way to control the wild hog population, but I believe several methods combined are the only way to keep them in what might be considered a controllable population. The aerial hunting by helicopter seems to be pretty effective, but is not 100 percent because of the terrain wild hogs occupy and it can be expensive. Trapping is also a good way to rid a piece of land of wild hogs in a significant quanity without breaking the bank although they can eventually become trap shy if caught and get out (and they do know where the door is and will try to open it.) Hunting them wih hounds will catch a few and if pursued relentlessly will drive them out of the vicinity for a while. Traditional methods of hunting them will take a few, but the person who gets more than one shot is lucky and quick unless they are in the open. Spotlighting where leagal is another avenue where a few hogs can be taken, further putting a dent in the population.

All the above methods combined will not eradicate wild hogs, just maybe keep them in check. I believe wild hogs are here to stay unless a disease wipes them out. If you don’t have wild hogs on your land I suggest you count yourself blessed even if they are a challenge and fun to hunt, the trade off of their negative attributes to the land and wildlife doesn’t seem worth the gain in my opinion. If you do have hogs and are not managing them (which means getting rid of eveyone you can because you will never get them all) you will eventually have more than you are able to deal with. I also believe that cooperaton among landowners is a must if wild hogs are to be controlled over a large area. If you have fenced acreage and you want to deter wild hogs from entering I suggest hanging plastic grocery sacks wherever you find a crossing under your fence. I experimented with this method and have had success at deterring them. I realize this may not be feasible over a large land area, but should not be a problem for small areas such as crop fields, small pastures or orchards.

For laws concerning the hunting, removal, transportation and holding of wild hogs contact your states wildlife or natural resources department or your local United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) representative because ferral hogs could be listed as game animals making them fall under the management of the state’s wildlife and conservation laws or they could be regarded as domestic livestock, bringing them in subjection within the states agriculture department and the USDA or all of the agencies may have jurisdiction depending on the location and circumstances. Be sure, be safe and do native wildlife a favor and go kill a wild hog.








Posted by on January 9, 2015 in Hunting, Work and play


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Well, another year in the past. 2014 saw some changes is our household, the biggest being that our youngest son married and we gained a daughter-in-law. Her and her family are a blessed addition to our family. The second biggest change (or perhaps the biggest) is that when our son got married, they established their home approximately one hundered and seventy miles away so we have the half empty nest syndrome. (Note: Awsome wedding) Not only did our youngest get married, he also finished Paramedic school. Another change is my oldest son who has worked for me since he was a young teenager has accepted a position with a company and is putting his college degree to work. I miss being able to depend on him, but he seems to enjoy coming home clean, having benefits, paid vacation days and holidays……go figure. Although, I believe they are both getting soft with fairly cushy jobs;) The plan with neither of my sons following me in my business has worked, putting them on roofs in the hot summer time made them want to get educations other than the school of hardknocks.

As for myself, I started this blog thing with the help of our new daughter-in-law and I guess I did write more than the previous year. I did manage to get a couple of stories published by an obscure magazine and had a very popular one give a story a hard look. My computer getting zapped by lightening has kept me from writing as mush as I would like and being able to print stories to send to magazines for consideration. At the moment I am limping by on my oldest son’s laptop and it may or may not work or cooperate depending on its mood. I am still not very sharp on this blog thing and really don’t understand why the gazillion’s of people out there in the internet world and blogg land haven’t flogged to my blog and started following, pretty sure there is something I should be doing, but I don’t know exactly what. I do know I need to learn how to put pictures on my blog, It seems if you have a crappy and boring blog, but have cool and awsome pictures or even just any pictures it makes the blog seem like a good one. Maybe when I get that new computer………and power surg protector I will learn some more about this blogging picture posting stuff.

I see all the time where different guys post about how they have the best gal, woman, wife etc. and just shake my head wondering why they post such drivel and lies when actually I have the sweetest, best and prettiest wife and everyone knows it or should. Sigh! MG had a pretty uneventful year as we both did or at least that is what my memory is telling me as I type this blog out although it may get jogged and a few more memories might make their way to what seems like a very narrow funnel to my brain. I must say that MG is enjoying having a daughter-in-law and not being the only female in the family.

2014 saw us reconnect with old friends and make new ones and we hope to continue these blessings in 2015.

I am looking forward to 2015 being a great year with us being in Gods favor and receiving his blessings, (something I am trying to learn how to accept) goals being acomplished and dreams fullfilled.



Posted by on January 2, 2015 in Family


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Twas the Night before Christmas Eve

Twas the night before Christmas Eve and the pipes were gurgling all through the house, it seemed the plumbing was all going south.
The toilets were flushed with so much care, hoping a plumber we wouldn’t have to call there.

I, still in my pj’s all snuggled in bed was seepily dreading what lay ahead.

The pipes all day seemed to rattle and clatter so after work I looked to see what was the matter.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear? A full septic, a thought I did not hold dear.

Withe a house full of guests coming the next day I knew there was no time to delay.

The thoughts of what lay before me was not merry, as a matter of fact they were quite dreary.

Away to Lowe’s I flew like a flash, and up and down the plumbing isles I dashed.

On past paint, lumber and hardware, past flooring, tools and lawn care.

The sump pumps were on display at the end of an isle, my face broke out in a smile.

This cost at Christmas I didn’t like, but what could I do. So I grabbed one and to the cashier I flew.

I pumped the water to where I could see, and kept thinking poor pitiful me

The flashlight gleaming on objects below, I dreaded the place I had to go.

With my son looking on and holding the light, not offering to go there not even the sleight.

I donned rubber gloves and with pipe wrench in hand, leaned over into that dreaded land.

I knew with the stench I must be quick, but the pipe, it was slippery and slick.

The connections tight and without holding my nose, out of the septic my head arose.

As I put on the lid and we cleaned up the tools I told my son…….when I get too old, your doing this!





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Posted by on December 25, 2014 in Country Humor, Work and play


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